


getting laid for dummies

by bunnieju



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Blue Balls, Cockblocking, Donghyuck knows what he's doing, Huang Ren Jun is Whipped, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm in love with Donghyuck and Mark and it's very obvious, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan Is The Sun, M/M, Main Renhyuck, Sexual Frustration, Sexual Tension, Unsatisfactory ending tbh, What Was I Thinking?, semi-NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:06:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23082196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnieju/pseuds/bunnieju
Summary: The four times Donghyuck accidentally cockblocked Renjun, and one time he didn't.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Mark Lee, Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 16
Kudos: 231
Collections: 99' ft 00' fic fest





	getting laid for dummies

**Author's Note:**

> #FT205

Renjun didn’t hate Donghyuck. Well, maybe a little, but the reality was that Renjun had the biggest crush on his roommate, Lee Donghyuck. 

Renjun met Lee Donghyuck the previous year on the first day of freshman orientation, around a week before he was set to move into the school dorms. The lecture hall was buzzing with the excited and nervous chatter of the incoming freshmen when Donghyuck entered the lecture hall, and it was like the world suddenly muted in Renjun’s ears. 

From Renjun’s seat in the second row, he could see that Lee Donghyuck was the most beautiful guy he’d ever seen. His sun-kissed skin was complemented by the light shade of brown of his hair, and his perfect cupid bow lips were so kissable that Renjun’s mind short-circuited for a few seconds. And his eyes. Oh, god, his eyes. They were a deep, glistening brown filled with such mischievous youth that Renjun couldn’t help but be pulled into his orbit.

Everything about him screamed confidence, from the black jeans, with the black turtleneck and the blue denim jacket, to the way he held his head high and proud as multiple people called out his name the moment he entered the class. Within a few moments, a small crowd of people gravitated towards him and he was the center of attention, talking avidly and laughing loudly and openly. 

Renjun spent around ten minutes just staring—captivated by the boy with the bright smile who everyone orbited around like he was the sun—and he couldn’t help but long to be in the company of his warmth. God, even under the cloudy skies and the pouring rain, Lee Donghyuck could look like sunshine.

Renjun finally snapped out of his stare when Donghyuck suddenly looked up and made eye contact with him.Renjun was so embarrassed to be caught staring that he immediately looked back down at his phone and ignored his heating ears. Lee Donghyuck was way out of his social circle; Renjun would have to face that and accept it right then and there, before he got too attached to Donghyuck. He was successfully coming to terms with that fact, until he saw a figure sit in the seat right next to him in the mostly empty second row and he curiously looked up to see Donghyuck staring back at him.

“Hi,” Donghyuck smiled brightly. “I’m Lee Donghyuck, Arts Management major. And you are?”

Renjun was dumbstruck, evident as he took a few seconds to respond. “I’m Huang Renjun, Arts Education major.”

“Ah! You’re Chinese?” Donghyuck exclaimed, and Renjun nodded in response. “Your Korean is so good, I would have never guessed!”

“Yeah, I grew up here…” Renjun nervously chuckled, tapping his nails against his phone.

“I have some friends that are from China and Hong Kong, I have to introduce you! They’re crazy though, one time Hendery…” And with that, Donghyuck launched into an excited retelling of his friend’s stupid ideas, and Renjun couldn’t help but feel a warmth fill his heart. Within a few minutes, Lee Donghyuck had managed to wiggle his way deep into Renjun’s heart, to the point that Renjun was really irritated when the freshman orientation began a few moments later, cutting off the ending of Donghyuck’s story. 

He and Donghyuck eventually got separated without another word due to the quick shuffling of students for ice breakers and events, and Renjun couldn’t help but hope that he’d get to see Donghyuck again during the week. Alas, he did not, as Renjun moved into his shared dorm room at the end of the week without even a glimpse of Donghyuck.

Renjun was not looking forward to sharing a dorm, but when you’re broke, you couldn’t have much freedom of choice. The dorm room was a small room with two twin beds pushed against opposite walls, two desks with two chairs placed at the foot of each bed, a closet with two divided sides, and a door near the entrance that led to a shared bathroom. It was an air-conditioned shoebox for two, but now Renjun had to call it _his_ air-conditioned shoebox for two, at least for the coming year.

Renjun spent an hour unpacking his questionably little amount of belongings (did he seriously own this little?) before he threw himself on the bed he’d claimed and examined his side of the room. Honestly, Renjun wanted to be more creative than this, but blank walls and minimalist decor was all he’d ever been allowed at home, so he wasn’t quite sure how to be creative outside of his art book.

Renjun then absently scrolled through social media on his phone for the next two hours before the mind-numbing boredom became too much for him and he sent Jaemin a message asking him if he was busy.

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

i just finished packing so i’m not busy

[you]

Ok meet me at that cute cafe on campus in 10 mins

The one with the fairy lights

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

ok ^^

He shot up to grab his art bag, keys, and wallet before heading to the campus cafe to meet with Jaemin. He then met with his childhood best friend to get up to date with how their experiences have been with the university.

It was times like this that Renjun realized how much he loved Jaemin. Of course, he often didn’t say it to his face, but Jaemin was one of the strongest anchors he’s had since he moved to South Korea at the age of seven without knowing a word of Korean. Jaemin had immediately taken Renjun under his wing with exaggerated charades to understand each other and Saturday sessions with Jaemin trying to teach Renjun Korean despite not knowing Chinese. Eventually, Jaemin learned intermediate Chinese for Renjun and when Renjun realized just how much he actually understood and spoke, he’d broke down crying because Na Jaemin may be naggy and annoying, but most of all he was caring and understanding.

He never regretted meeting Jaemin or sitting through the frustrating times of language barriers and getting to know Jaemin, and there in that cafe seeing his best friend smile so brightly reminded him of their blissful high school days together. Maybe he should have given more thought to his roommate, but for an hour and a half, he sat drinking death coffee, gossiping with Jaemin, and sketching in his artbook, being an overall typical art student. 

Renjun would have stayed at the cafe all day if it wasn’t for the fact that Jaemin refused to stay any longer than that hour and a half, because he “had a date”, which was code word for he found a new fuckmate. So, to not look like an awkward friendless loser in that unfamiliar territory, Renjun also packed his stuff and began walking to his dorm.

Renjun arrived at his door a little while later and absentmindedly punched in his code into the keypad next to the door, before pushing it open. He closed the door behind him, dropped his bag on the floor next to the door, and immediately beelined to his bed to throw himself face down on top of it. He felt his headphones slip from his ears, causing him to initially sigh in resignation and close his eyes, but a few seconds later his ears picked up on some humming coming from somewhere in the room. Immediately, Renjun sat up in panic at the sound, his brain going at 1000 miles per second.

_“Oh mygod—Holy fucking sh— Someone is in here. SomeoneisinhereI’mgoingtodie.”_ His brain did a great job of convincing him this was his dying moment for a brain so absent.

Renjun’s eyes darted through the empty room before they settled on the bathroom door and his brain processed that the humming had now become singing, and that it was coming from the bathroom. The voice was beautiful, easily the most beautiful Renjun had ever heard. It was powerful, yet smooth and calming, like gentle waves rolling past him at the shallow parts of the beach.

Renjun then took notice of the bags and boxes covering the other side of the room and realized that it was probably his roommate that finally arrived. He sighed and threw himself back into a lying position as his heart took its time to calm down. He kind of wanted to hit himself for panicking so quickly and losing his rational thoughts; if it had been a real threat, he’d definitely be dead. Renjun wrapped his headphones neatly and unlocked his phone to scroll through Twitter until his roommate came out.

Turns out he didn’t have to wait very long, seeing as less than ten minutes later, the door opened and he heard footsteps step out of the bathroom. Renjun looked up only for all semblance of rationality to leave his body, his last brain cell shriveling up and ceasing to exist. His brain could not formulate thoughts as he laid there with his mouth dropped and his eyes wide. 

Like every cliche young adult novel in existence, there in his room stood the protagonist’s love interest. Renjun honestly thought it had to be some prank cam or something, because he was not Y/N and this was not a straight romance Wattpad novel.

“Ah! Renjun!” Donghyuck cheered, towel over his hair as he attempted to dry it. “I can’t believe you’re my roommate! What a coincidence!”

Renjun swallowed the disbelief that built up in his throat and gave Donghyuck a shaky smile with wide eyes. “Yeah! I can’t believe it either!”

Donghyuck smiled, his signature happy glow warming Renjun’s insides and releasing the butterflies that beat at his stomach. Fuck, Renjun was screwed.

And he was right. Freshman year was the year he’d fallen in love with Donghyuck, who made him feel like he was simultaneously floating and burning in hell. It may have been painful, but Renjun quickly learned that Donghyuck was a decent roommate.

Even though he played video games into the late hours of the morning.

(“Hyuck, it’s five am! Go the fuck to sleep, your desktop’s brightness is too high!”

“No, I need to finish this match.”

“You don’t go to sleep after this match and I’ll fucking strangle you.”

“Fine, mother.” Donghyuck rolled his eyes with a small smile.)

And even if he seized Renjun’s bed every other day.

(Renjun groaned at the sight of Donghyuck sprawled over Renjun’s bed as soon as he opened the door. He walked right up to the bed and poked at the slightly snoring Donghyuck. “Get the fuck up, asshole.”

The snoring stopped, “No.”

“Then face your consequences.” Renjun deadpanned, dropping his body slack on top of Donghyuck, who screeched.)

Renjun loved living with Donghyuck despite the pain of his unrequited crush, to the point that Renjun immediately agreed when at the end of their first year Donghyuck asked him if he wanted to get an apartment together. And a month later, they’d signed the lease on their first apartment together.

Boy, was Renjun wrong when he thought he’d be able to handle it.

An apartment together brought all sorts of new complications, like their apartment becoming the hang out zone for their dorm gremlin friends, Donghyuck nearly burning down the kitchen every week, and the cat that seemed to move into their balcony because Donghyuck made a habit of feeding it.

But the worst complication of all was Renjun’s rising sexual frustration. Back in their dorm, they’d cuddled of course, but now that they had their own separate rooms, Donghyuck clung to Renjun more often—arguing that they don’t get to be together all the time anymore and that he’s lonely in his room. Donghyuck would wiggle himself into Renjun’s bed, lay himself over Renjun while they watched movies, back hug Renjun while he cooked, and it wasn’t at all bad. Until Renjun found himself unable to jerk off for weeks, because Donghyuck was always there. 

Renjun finally snapped the day that Donghyuck plopped himself right down on Renjun’s lap while Renjun was watching a documentary, and squirmed and wiggled until he was in a comfortable position, completely oblivious to Renjun’s twitching dick and internal panic. After an hour and a half of the torture, Donghyuck finally got up and retreated into his room to take a nap, which gave Renjun a window of opportunity to message Jaemin.

  
  


[you]

CODE!!! FUCKING!!! RED!!!!

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

YOU’RE BEING ROBBED?

[you]

NO THAT’S CODE BLUE

  
  


[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

THEN WHAT IS IT? DON’T LEAVE ME IN SUSPENSE

  
  


[you]

I NEED TO GET LAID. ASAP.

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

why didn’t you start with that?

ask hyuckie to go down on you ^.^

i’m sure he’d be all for it lol

[you]

Haha Na Jaemin is hilarious

I’m serious

You know Hyuck doesn’t like me like that

And it’s his fault I’m like this

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

you don’t know that he doesn’t like you :(

but if you insist

i can set you up that hot volleyball player i met

[you]

I’d be willing to fuck anything with legs at this point

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

i’ll shoot him a message

If only it had been that easy… But it seemed like the universe was strictly against Renjun getting laid. The universe, in its peak assholeness, allowed every single opportunity to be squashed by the one person who instigated his dilemma.

The first time it happened, Renjun had managed to set up a dick appointment with the hot volleyball player Jaemin had introduced to him, Mark. Mark was hot, in every sense of the word. Physically, he was eye candy, with his broad shoulders, thick thighs, softly defined abs and muscles, long legs, and toned ass. His face was also pretty. He had high, prominent cheekbones, wide wonderful eyes, a sharp jawline, and the most genuine smile Renjun had had the pleasure of seeing. His deep brown eyes were emotional and expressive in a way that Renjun found super attractive.

His personality brought a certain warmth into every space he occupied. He was naturally understanding and very accommodating to everyone around him, but never a pushover or a doormat; this was evident in the way he’d never let his friends bully him nor let the upperclassmen or group members saddle him with all the work. He was determined and passionate about everything he did, and damn, that was hot. 

So when Mark messaged him, making him an offer to come to his apartment the following Friday at six pm when Renjun knew that Donghyuck would be gone to dinner with his theater group, he’d been over the moon. He craved touch badly and was happy he’d be able to receive it from such a caring and cool guy like Mark.

Mark had arrived at exactly 5:55 pm, and Renjun couldn’t help but run around like a headless chicken for a moment. It’d been so long since he last got laid that he didn’t know how to prepare himself to feel sexy again or how a partner would want him. He’d settled on just a bathrobe with the really nice pair of lingerie that Jaemin had bought him as a joke on his eighteenth birthday— though he guessed it wasn’t much of a joke anymore.

Mark stood in a generic, simple yet dick reviving outfit: a short-sleeved white shirt tucked into dark pants and black and white vans. If it were any other person coming to get dicked down, Renjun would have shut the door in their face at the outfit but it was Mark and his figure combined with the sweet, heart-melting smile on his face made Renjun open the door wider as if on autopilot.

“Hey…” Mark breathed out, seeming like he was eating Renjun with his eyes before giggling. “You’re ready, huh?” 

“Yeah, I couldn’t wait.” Renjun smiled, narrowing his eyes. “Come in.”

Mark stepped in, taking off his shoes at the door before following Renjun into the depths of the apartment and into Renjun’s room. Renjun closed the door behind them as soon as Mark had stepped in and gave Mark a moment to take in the sight of the room.

“What the fuck is that?” Mark suddenly burst into uncontrollable laughter, bending over to support himself on his knees. Renjun followed his line of sight to see the cursed cardboard cut out of Donghyuck that he’d gotten as a ‘roommate gift’ when they moved in. The cardboard cut out had custom made red light reflecting eyes, making it seem like it’s eyes were glowing and watching them.

“Oh, Donghyuck gave me that as a gift.” Renjun facepalmed and stepped forward to stand in front of Mark. “I hope it doesn’t bother you, if it does I can kick it out or cover it or something.”

Mark kept giggling as he straightened up, stepping closer to Renjun and wrapping his arms around his neck, leaning into Renjun’s face. “I don’t mind, it’s just hilarious.”

Renjun could feel his soul leave his body and his blood was too busy rushing south to show any redness in his cheeks. But he didn’t let that deter his mission and he simply just began pushing Mark backward towards his bed, before gently pushing him onto the bed. Renjun climbed right onto Mark, straddling him and then leaned down to connect their lips in their first kiss together.

Renjun always loved kisses for their uniqueness to each person. Everyone he’d ever kissed had a different way of showing passion and interest, some were touchy and some weren’t, some were gentle and some were hard and fast, some lead to more and some didn’t, but they all had something that you could love about them. Kisses were a way of affection or just care, and always told you what you meant to the person.

Mark’s kisses were just as passionate and gentle as him. Renjun felt warm as he felt Mark’s hands tug on the cloth tying his robe closed and releasing it to reveal Renjun’s lingerie. Mark’s breath caught in his throat but he continued by pushing the robe off Renjun’s shoulders and Renjun cupped Mark’s face in his hands before pressing his lips against his even harder and desperate than before.

The room was heating in their actions and for a moment Renjun felt a strong fondness in his chest for the boy under him. Renjun began running his hands under Mark’s shirt, preparing to lift it off him, when he heard it.

A deep and sudden irritation replaced all warmth in his chest making Renjun scoff into Mark’s mouth before ignoring the ringing phone and continuing on his removal of Mark’s shirt. The ringing stopped for about a second before it started up right away again. 

“You should pick that up.” Mark sighed, pulling away. Renjun let out a groan as the ringing stopped and started again. Quickly, he got up and snatched his phone from its place on his drawers then answered it, placing this phone up to his ear with a passive-aggressive “Yes, good evening.”

“Renjun?” Immediately Renjun deflated into worry at the sound of sniffling and the slur of Donghyuck’s usually clear voice. “Can you come to pick me up? I...I keep falling and I’m sad and it’s dark here and I don’t remember how to get home.”

“Of course, do you know where you are, baby? Check your map.” Renjun could feel panic grip at his bones but he breathed deeply to keep it at bay.

“Yeah, it said I’m in Jongchan Street. I’m sitting on the sidewalk.”

“Okay, I’m on my way, can you stay on the call? Sing for me, baby.”

“Y-yeah.” Donghyuck sniffled before he started singing a song Renjun recognized from Donghyuck's most recent musical role. Renjun put himself on mute and the phone on speaker so he could hear Donghyuck while he got ready, and turned back to the boy on his bed who was already fixing his clothes and standing up with an understanding smile.

“Donghyuck?” Mark asked, retucking his shirt into his pants. Curse Mark Lee for being so darn nice and understanding.

“You know Donghyuck?” Renjun asked, riffling through his drawers for pants and a hoodie.

“Yeah, he must’ve not mentioned but we grew up neighbors when he moved to Seoul.” Mark replied sheepishly.

“Ahhh, he didn’t mention a name but he did mention you.” Renjun tugged on his clothes over his lingerie quickly.

“Is he okay?”

“Generally, but he’s drunk and sad and he kind of loses his sense of direction and motivation when he’s like this.” Renjun picked up his phone, taking it off speaker, putting it up to his ear, and motioned for Mark to follow him to the door.

“Yeah, I’ve seen how he gets.” Mark obeyed, scrambling to catch up with the speeding Renjun.

“Mark, I’m sorry about this, I’ll make sure to make it up to you.” Renjun sighed, looking at Mark apologetically as they stood outside the apartment.

“It’s okay, Renjun, I understand! Bros before hoes.” Mark shook his head with a smile. “But maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.”

“Okay, hit me up whenever.” And they went their separate ways.

Renjun wished he would have been able to follow up with Mark, but the following Monday he received a text that completely crushed all his hope. 

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

i have good and bad news but its technically the same news!

[you]

???

What’s up?

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

I’ve managed to score a boyfriend

[you]

That’s good news?

Why would it be bad news?

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

well

the boyfriend is

mark lee

[you]

…

Wow

What happened to the bro code nana?

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

WHAT DO YOU MEAN????

YOU TOLD ME ON FRIDAY THAT NOTHING HAPPENED

AND THAT NOTHINGS EXCLUSIVE

AND THAT YOU DONT CARE???

I GET THAT YOU’RE OLD

BUT YOU CANT BE THIS FORGETFUL

[you]

I’M ONLY 4 MONTHS OLDER THAN YOU ASSHOLE

…

Fine

But only because I did say that

Plus I have Donghyuck

[nana (◕‿◕✿)]

okayyy (👍 ͡❛ 👅 ͡❛)👍

WAIT

YOURE FINALLY ADMITTING YOUR CRUSH ON DONGHYUCK (っ ͡❛ ● ͡❛)っ

YOU CLOWN TELL HIM BEFORE I DO

[you]

Bye nana

Renjun clicked off the chat, leaving his best friend to scream alone into the void. There went his first unsolved boner and his budding crush on Mark Lee.

The second time it happened, Renjun had been an unwilling victim to Donghyuck’s need to party after midterms. Maybe he wasn’t that unwilling, since his brain immediately made the connection that going out would mean potentially getting laid, despite the fact that Renjun was Tired™. 

“Renjun! Are you ready yet?” A groan could be heard from their living room as Renjun gave himself a once over in the mirror to double-check his outfit and make-up.

“Shut up, asshole!” Renjun yelled back, while deciding if he wanted to change his jewelry. “You finished getting ready like 30 seconds ago! I heard you walking past my door.”

Donghyuck let out a pterodactyl screech back before replying with something coherent. “You’re taking a minute too long to get ready then!”

Renjun sighed, throwing all care for his outfit into the wind, then leaving his room to meet Donghyuck in the living room. And Renjun would like to say that the moment his eyes laid on Donghyuck the whole world stopped and they stared at each other in enchantment while Careless Whisper began playing in the background. But in reality, only the air was violently knocked out of his lungs and his brain shut down as he continued strutting forward with his regular apathetic expression, seemingly unphased by Donghyuck’s beauty.

“Finally! I thought I was going to grow old on this shitty couch.” Donghyuck rejoiced, raising himself off the couch and placing his phone in his back pocket. Renjun took that moment to let his eyes run down the length of Donghyuck’s body. Not to be totally crushing on Donghyuck, but Renjun still thought that Donghyuck was the most beautiful guy he’d ever laid eyes on. The black skinny jeans accented his long slender legs, while the blue turtle neck with the black blazer hugged Donghyuck’s figure in a way that made Renjun’s dick immediately twitch. 

God, he was beautiful. His honey blond hair was swept up off his forehead and his skin glowed golden in the shitty dim apartment lights. His brown eyes were the perfect mixture of playful and pure evil as his lightly glossed lips pouted at Renjun. Renjun could feel his body short-circuit for a moment as a shiver he hoped Donghyuck didn’t notice racked through him. Still, Renjun rolled his eyes and tugged his mouth into a regular smile.

“Stop being so dramatic.” Renjun retorted with a snort. “I didn’t take that long.”

“You did though!”

“This is why I don’t go out with you. I hate it here.”

“No you don’t, if it wasn’t for me you’d still be living in overly expensive student dorms.”

“I refuse to comment on that.”

“It's ‘cause I’m right.” Donghyuck blew him a mocking kiss, and they dropped the conversation to finally leave the apartment.

Renjun felt the song’s beat vibrate through his body as he stood by the bar in the stuffy nightclub. Lights rotated, shining reds, blues, greens, and yellows over the bodies stuck in the intoxicating ambient of the high spirited dance floor. The dance floor was full from wall to wall and everyone was moving wildly, feeding off each other’s smiles and joy in dancing, for a night where they could remove themself of the responsibilities that existed outside the nightclub doors, at least temporarily. 

Renjun could feel that the alcohol already had him happily buzzed and giggly, but tried to maintain a sober appearance in case anyone wanted to approach him. He’d been quietly standing there ever since Donghyuck downed three shots with him then disappeared into the crowded dance floor to enjoy himself. Maybe he should have moved already to see if he could finally find someone for the night, but he could help but stay to try and catch a peek of Donghyuck on the dance floor.

Renjun felt a finger tap his shoulder and he turned to his left to see a woman. She was shorter than average but she held herself with the confidence and grace of royalty. Her off the shoulder black crop top and her high waisted red mini-skirt with her knee-high black socks and boots fit her body amazingly, accenting all her curves and sending his imagination places. 

Her chin-length short brown hair framed her beautiful face perfectly, while her deep brown eyes reflected the red, blue, yellow, and green of the nightclub lights and her lips stretched into a smirk. Her eyes spoke of her as a hurricane ready to spin herself into Renjun’s life just to make a mess then leave as if she never existed.

“Hi, I’m Yerim.” She enunciated slowly, leaning in close enough for him to hear her.

She was so Renjun’s type.

“I’m Renjun.” Renjun played along, leaning even closer. “What’s such a pretty girl approaching plain-looking me for?”

“That’s what you call plain-looking?” Yerim laughed. “Now I really want to see you when you deem yourself good-looking.”

“I’m nothing special, Yerim, but you on the other hand…” Renjun trailed off, giving her a very slow once-over.

“How about we get some drinks, then talk about how my appearance makes you feel.” 

She held out an arm to him, which he latched onto lightly and they headed towards some seats near the middle of the bar. Once they were seated, Yerim immediately flagged down a bartender to order some drinks for both of them. The bartender returned with their drinks, to which Yerim thanked her and turned to face Renjun.

“So, you were saying something about me being special? In what way?” Yerim took a sip from her drink, looking at Renjun over the rim of the cup with an air of seductiveness to her gaze. Renjun placed a hand on her knee, about to open his mouth to tell her exactly what he meant, when they were very abruptly interrupted.

He guessed his first mistake was letting Donghyuck be so touchy-feely with him all the time, because out of nowhere he feels an arm wrap around his shoulders and then sees another one wrap around Yerim’s shoulders. Right between them was a giggly, high and drunk to all ends Donghyuck pulling them into a half hug.

“Renjun!” Donghyuck jabbered, slurring over some words because of the speed. “I’ve been looking for you! Why did you disappear? I got lost in some hallways and nearly ran into some bad guys, but thankfully my brain cell kicked in! Can we get fries? I’m really hungry! Renjun, lets g-”

It was as if all the alcohol evaporated from his bloodstream and he was suddenly stone-cold sober. Renjun sighed as his heart did a little flip, then wrangled Donghyuck’s arms off him and Yerim, then held Donghyuck’s hands in an attempt to bring his attention back to Renjun.

“Yeah, we can get fries.” Renjun smiled. “What did you take?”

“Ahh...just some weed today, the boys in the back were selling the good stuff.” Donghyuck slowed down to enunciate his words better. “I’m kind of spaced right now, but I’m super hungry.”

“Okay, let’s go get something to eat th-” Renjun choked on his words as Donghyuck leaned forward and landed a wet kiss on Renjun’s chin. Renjun leaned back away from Donghyuck, but Donghyuck simply wrapped himself around Renjun’s body with his face in Renjun’s neck. 

Renjun suddenly remembered Yerim, but when he turned to the seat where she had been, it was empty. Renjun cursed at himself internally for letting someone else get away like that, but it was soon forgotten in favor of getting Donghyuck fed and tucked into his bed at home.

And another boner went unresolved.

The third time it happened, Donghyuck wasn’t even directly involved, although Renjun thinks he could arguably blame him for that terrible misfortune too.

Renjun had hit the jackpot as soon as genius student linguist Wong Yukhei leaned in for a kiss on that bench outside of the 24-hour convenience store near his apartment. Renjun had been sitting there nursing a coffee at two am, taking a break during his all-nighter, when he saw a figure sit at the other end of the bench out of the corner of his eye. He’d started letting out a confused noise, as he hadn’t heard anyone approaching on the dead silent street, but when he turned to look at the figure the noise died in his throat and became more of a strangled cat cry.

He’d known Yukhei but only distantly as Yukhei was friends with Mark and Donghyuck. Every encounter he’d had with Yukhei up until that point all had an air of awkward tension mixed with something else. Renjun cleared his throat to get back into his usual unbothered persona.

“Yukhei? Hey, what’s up?” Renjun ran his hands through his messy hair in an attempt to fix it even just a little. “What are you doing around these parts?”

Yukhei grinned, then pointed at the apartment building on the other end of the street from Renjun’s. “I live right over there and I’m pulling an all-nighter to get an assignment done but I thought I could use a walk and some convenience store food.” And they were off into conversation for at least 20 minutes.

For 20 torturous minutes, Renjun stared at the proof that whatever higher being existed had favorites. Wong Yukhei was one of the school’s official golden boys; if you so as even stepped foot in the university, even for just a visit, you knew who Wong Yukhei was. Yukhei was one of the top students in the linguistics course, which was so surprising to Renjun at first considering he had never seen Yukhei even remotely organized or on time in his life, but then Renjun got to witness firsthand the courage, kindness, and dedication that Yukhei had for everything he did and it was like a moment of clarity. Not to mention, Yukhei was super hot and a star basketball player.

Renjun hated how the universe had favorites. If he couldn’t roll out of bed with a perfect face and beautiful hair like Wong Yukhei, then what was the point?

But what Renjun hadn’t noticed until it was smack in his face, was that Yukhei had been scooting closer and closer, until he was just a few inches from Renjun’s face and Renjun could feel his hand slightly shake with the near-empty coffee cup. Renjun was surely hallucinating because why did it seem like Yukhei was into him? God, Renjun really needed to sleep at this point, forget his unfinished presentation.

So you could imagine how Renjun internally jumped out of his skin when Yukhei suddenly placed his hand on Renjun’s hand that held the coffee cup and leaned in closer to whisper some simple yet plot-twisting words. “Renjun, can I kiss you?”

In its usual manner, his brain cell packed up and left for vacation, leaving behind a stuttering mess of a Renjun, this time outwardly with how shocking those words were. Renjun stared for a good two minutes watching as Yukhei expression turned worried and his hand loosened around Renjun’s.

“Ah, maybe I read the situation wrong...You can say no if you don’t want me to…” Yukhei sheepishly let go of Renjun’s hand to scoot back and put some space between them, but Renjun placed his coffee down on the bench next to him and held onto both of Yukhei’s arms.

“Kiss me.” Renjun demanded, his capacity for thought finally kicking in. Yukhei looked into Renjun’s eyes as if to ask if he’s sure and Renjun nodded, leaning in closer.

That’s how they ended up rushing back to Renjun’s empty apartment, and suddenly Renjun was glad his roommate was off in Jeju helping his younger high school friend prepare for finals.

Once Renjun opened the door to his apartment, he was picked up and lightly slammed into the now-closed door on the inside of the apartment. Renjun closed his eyes in momentary pure bliss as he felt hot breath and lingering kisses make their way up his neck. He ran his hands through Yukhei’s hair a few times before pulling Yukhei’s head from his neck and reconnected their lips with a harder, more urgent kiss.

Running out of breath, Renjun pulled away from Yukhei, who still chased his lips. “My bedroom is down the hall, the second door to the left.” Renjun mumbled against Yukhei’s lips, trying to calmly catch his breath.

Immediately he could feel himself being picked up and he wrapped his legs around Yukhei’s waist for stability as he started kissing down Yukhei’s jaw making his way to his neck. Although distracted, Renjun was very aware of Yukhei laying him over his bed. Renjun did not release his legs from Yukhei’s waist, instead using the opportunity to pull him closer and grind down, drawing a breathy moan out of Yukhei.

It felt as if electricity was coursing through his veins at the sounds that Yukhei made. Goosebumps rose on his skin as a small, teasing smile slowly made its way onto Renjun’s face; it wasn’t cold, but more the anticipation of this moment since they’d connected lips on the bench in the dark empty street.

“My condoms and lube are in the top drawer of my nightstand,” Renjun spoke up breathlessly, releasing Yukhei from his grip. Yukhei immediately made a beeline to the top drawer of the nightstand and pulled out the items he was asked to get, then turned around to head to the bed. However, he didn’t make it to the bed, instead letting out a high pitched shriek, dropping everything in his hands. In response, Renjun himself startled so badly that his upper body slipped off the edge of his bed and he landed hard on his head with half his body still on the bed.

For a few moments, Renjun just hung there numb and in pure shock, but then the rest of his body slipped off landing him completely on the hardwood floor. He could not stand, it was as if his body was going haywire and not complying with his commands, then in an instant a dizzy spell overtook him and his ears noticeably popped even though he didn’t even notice they were blocked, allowing a mild ringing in his ears.

“Holy shit, Renjun!” Yukhei came into Renjun’s line of sight looking visibly distressed. “Are you okay?”

How did speaking work again? Renjun’s body seemed to forget how to push those sound waves out of his mouth to communicate and Renjun’s mind didn’t know how to help. Renjun just stared at Yukhei slowly blinking with his mouth slightly open as if to say something.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Yukhei tugged on his hair, pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing something into it before putting it up to his ear. “I’m calling an ambulance, don’t fall asleep, Renjun.”

And that’s how Renjun spent his Sunday night and most of his Monday in the hospital. Jaemin had arrived at around four am with Mark who had apparently driven him to the hospital. Yukhei was sitting on a chair at Renjun’s bedside when Jaemin slammed the door open, breaking the awkward silence that they’d been sitting in for the previous hour.

“What the fuck happened here?” Jaemin strode forward to stand near Renjun’s hospital bed. “What in the world were you doing that would warrant you a concussion and me a call from Yukhei of all people?”

God, Renjun wished Yukhei hadn’t opened his mouth to explain the situation, but he had before Renjun could stop him. Jaemin will never let either of them live that incident down. Not him, not Yukhei, not Mark’s scandalized face as Yukhei retold the story.

When Mark and Jaemin had finally dropped him off at home, Renjun only stood at his doorway taking in the chaos of his room after what happened. Clothes were thrown about, the lube and condoms scattered across the floor, a melted ice pack with a collected puddle under, and his lampshade that had been knocked onto the floor stared back in defiance to Renjun’s basic existence.

Renjun let out a loud groan and looked upward at the sky, silently seeking help from whatever unloving being existed up there. He then sank himself into his bed, beating at his pillow for the state of blue balls and injury he was in. He wondered what he did to deserve all his misfortunes.

In his head, Renjun could hear Jaemin laughing at him then he plopping down on Mark’s lap -- a reminder of what he couldn’t achieve -- because life was simply not fair.

The fourth time was the final straw.

Maybe Renjun shouldn’t even have been that mad -- his avoidance of Donghyuck had reached an all-time high, and while Donghyuck seemed to understand and give him space, they hadn’t spoken more than a few words those two and a half weeks. Donghyuck couldn’t have known that he was squashing Renjun’s chances at getting laid again.

But when Donghyuck arrived home that Sunday morning after Renjun had been stuck catching up on assignments all night and broke into his room to brag about his latest catch, Renjun could feel the flames of anger lick at his existence. 

“God, Renjun! He was amazing!” Donghyuck’s pitch seemed to get higher with every syllable in Renjun’s ear. The boy laid next to Renjun on his tiny twin bed, squishing Renjun into the wall; it was one of their usual positions, so Renjun shouldn’t have minded, but with the sheer absurdity of the experiences he’d had for the previous months, maybe he was losing his mind. Logically he knew that this was his best friend and roommate, his Hyuck (followed by one puking emoji and millions of heart emojis), but it seemed like his brain no longer had the capability to think logically. Every word was like a new needle stabbing into his back, and not in the acupuncture way. 

He’d almost blown his entire topper when Donghyuck mentioned a name.

“He gave me his number and said he wants to try being sort of exclusive! It kind of weird you know, exclusive fuck buddies, but he’s hot and I’m glad we are at least on the same page.” Donghyuck giggled into Renjun’s arm, tracing his fingers along Renjun’s stomach in calm oval movements. “You should meet him sometime! His name’s Jeno, he’s really sweet and he said he studies Arts Education too, maybe you know him!”

Renjun’s dick twitched in agony at the revelation; another one bites the dust and all he could do is stare down his ceiling in carefully masked anger, as he dug the thumb of the hand Donghyuck wasn’t attached to into his bed with enough strength to nearly break it (his thumb or the bed, you ask? The answer is yes). Every second was like gasoline fueling the hellish flames of his blue balls controlled mind.

“Get out.” Renjun mumbled, cutting Donghyuck off.

“What?” Donghyuck raised his head off Renjun’s pillow in confusion.

“Get out of my room, Donghyuck,” Renjun repeated louder, voice surprisingly calm. “I really need you to get out of my room before I start screaming at you, I don’t want to do that to you.”

“What? Why?” Donghyuck sat up frantically, leaning his head above Renjun to make eye contact with him. “What’s wrong, Junnie?”

“You can’t be this oblivious, Donghyuck, please.”

Donghyuck let out a quiet sigh, and brushed his fingers through Renjun’s hair quickly, before placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. He quickly climbed off the bed and disappeared from the room, closing the door behind him. Immediately, Renjun wanted to kick and scream and tear down his entire room, starting with the stupid cardboard cutout of Donghyuck that still stared at him from across the room. But all he could really manage was about a minute of screaming into his pillow in the highest note that he could manage in his vocal range while punching his mattress.

Renjun was sleep-deprived, stressed, and sexually frustrated. What a joke was his life. So he decided to do the only logical thing to do in the face of all problems: Sleep.

It wasn’t that great of a nap in terms of sleep quality but he did sleep 12 hours straight before waking up to quiet humming and a weight on his stomach. Renjun took quite a few moments to shed the sleep from his brain and wipe the tiredness from his eyes before he took notice of his surroundings. The room was mostly dark, only illuminated by the dull glow of his cheap lamp, and the clock on his wall reflected the time 9:23 pm. On his stomach laid Donghyuck’s arm, notifying Renjun of his presence curled up against Renjun’s side.

Renjun knew the song that Donghyuck was humming, too well actually, it was even the one Donghyuck was humming on the day they found out they were roommates. It was Wonder by Eden and it was kind of their unspoken song. 

“I used to wonder what love is,” Renjun quietly sang along to the song, startling Donghyuck but not stopping his humming. “But ever since you've been around, I finally think I have it figured out.”

“What I missed then, but see now,” Donghyuck broke out from humming into a clear song. “I found out, I know now.”

“I’m sorry.” Renjun turned into Donghyuck, wrapping his arms around him.

“I’m more sorry.” Donghyuck breathed into Renjun’s chest.

“No, you don’t have to be, you didn’t even know what was going on. It’s my fault.”

“But I did know.”

“Huh?” Renjun makes a sound of confusion as Donghyuck snuggled closer into Renjun refusing to show his face.

“I...I knew what I was doing, Renjun, some of the things were on purpose. I just didn’t think it would affect you that much, I just wanted to keep you for myself, but that was kind of selfish when I wasn’t keeping myself for you.”

“What do you mean on purpose?”

“I wasn’t that far gone at the club, and I was sad on the day with Mark but I could have called anyone else. The cardboard cut out thing was not intended though, Yukhei told me about that and how embarrassed he was. And I don’t really understand what’s up with the Jeno thing.”

“The club?! Mark?! Donghyuck, what?” 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Donghyuck winced. “I should have just told you I liked you.”

Renjun’s one brain cell was having such a hard time processing what the fuck was going and ultimately decided to leave him stranded with rocks for brains and his jaw wide open. This whole situation was simply jarring to him because he was not, and never would be, Y/N, so why is beautiful, talented, way out of his league, idol material Lee Donghyuck telling him that he purposely started his blue balls incident of 2019? Because he liked Renjun? Plain ole, small-town complex, big hoodies, terrible decision maker Renjun?

This had to be a joke someone was playing on him.

“That’s hilarious, Hyuckie!” Renjun sat up, unwrapping his arms from Donghyuck and letting out an uncontrollable laugh.

“Huh?” Donghyuck sat up with him. “What’s so funny? Are you making fun of me for liking you?”

“There’s no way you could actually like me, give it up Donghyuck.” Renjun continued his maniacal laughter, mostly so that he didn’t end up crying instead. “I mean look at me.”

“Oh, it’s like that.” Donghyuck sighed, reaching forward to intertwine Renjun’s hand with his own. “Why? Why is it so hard to believe that I would like you, baby?”

The look in Donghyuck’s eyes was what made Renjun immediately shut his mouth. There was something endearing mixed in his gaze, as if Renjun had placed the stars in the sky just for him (and let’s be honest, Renjun totally would). Renjun didn’t quite know if this was a joke anymore, feeling his heartbeat steadily pick up pace and his hands begin to sweat in Donghyuck’s hands.

“My hands are getting sweaty…” Renjun mumbles, looking at their hands and trying to pull his hands away, but Donghyuck refused to let go.

“I don’t care,” Donghyuck held on tighter. “Just answer my question.”

“I mean...I’m just Renjun? Nothing special, especially for you.” Renjun felt his whole body burn in embarrassment. “You’re so...You. You’re great at everything you do, and even if you aren’t, you work so hard and never give up believing in yourself. You have so many friends, you could choose so many better things to do than spend time with me, than to like me. Why would you settle for me?”

“Settle?” Donghyuck gasped as if told the most scandalous secret in the world. “What do you mean settle for you?! Do you mean you don’t know how much of an impact you’ve had on not only me but everyone we know? Renjun, you can’t be this oblivious!”

“Waaa?” Renjun didn’t know when his brain cell would kick in to form logical sentences, but for then, he’d have to stick to baby noises.

“You’re amazing!” Donghyuck exclaimed, shaking their intertwined hands with every word. “You encourage us so much, and make sure we’re taking care of ourselves and understand our studies! Do you think Jaemin would have finally changed majors if you didn’t smack him out of his misery, literally? Do you think I would have auditioned for the lead role in the musical if you hadn’t spent 15 minutes telling me why I’d be perfect for the role? Do you think I would like you so darn much if you weren’t so attentive, funny, and dedicated? If you weren’t ‘so you’.”

It was as if Renjun’s ears had popped after an airplane ride and he could finally hear the world clearly again. Too clearly maybe, as each word managed to render him a new degree of speechless.

“You’re…” Renjun choked out after a long moment of silence and staring. “You’re serious, oh my god, did I save a country in my past life?”

Donghyuck laughed in that loud and endearingly open way that Renjun loves, before wrapping his arms around Renjun, bring him into his warm and tight embrace. Renjun still couldn’t believe it.

“You better believe it, babes,” Donghyuck whispered into Renjun’s ear. “And a little birdy told me that you had quite a crush on me too, to the point of some nasty frustration.”

Damn it, Jaemin and his big fat backstabbing filterless mouth.


End file.
